Six days after my last Rhodesian Ridgeback (Mabruki) passed, I worked on the largest piece I have in months. During the last few months of his life, it was difficult to get more than an hour in the studio at a time. This piece is based upon the stunning flower arrangement my dear friends sent me. There’s something hopeful and peaceful about this, yet the very center commands your attention. I see spring, flowers, gardens, walks, nature and his beautiful essence, things I thought I would be able to continue sharing with him.
Recently I discovered I have multi-sensory aphantasia (the inability to visualize or create any of the senses). I literally thought a “mind’s eye” or “counting sheep” were expressions, not actual things people can do. I’ve always known that when I lose someone that I’ll never “see” them again except in dreams or photos/videos. It has made Mabruki’s passing a bit more challenging, knowing others can still access him in their minds. However, I took so many photos and videos, documenting our life together, especially the last 3 months and his very last day.
Grateful this painting helps me conjure up the feelings and experiences I shared with him. He is accessible to me as possible.